My Health / My Body / My Choice....

Only three months in to 2015 and I have struggled with a healthy lifestyle.  Every where I go there is temptation after temptation that is not what my body needs.  I have had many opportunities over the last year or so to get myself back on track but its not easy when you are not truly committed. 

I went to the doctor back in early March and was shocked when my doctor told me that I had gained about 15 lbs in a very short amount of time.  I always told myself when I got to ONEderland I would never leave it.   Well I have not been in ONEderland for a while and I miss it.  I miss not having energy to play with my kids, the ability to wake up and not be tired, the motivation to stay active and the desire to eat healthy.  I talked at length with my doctor about what to do.  She was concerned about sleep apnea again and heart problems.  I have had sleep apnea in the past because of my weight and heart disease is very prominent in my family.  In the end we came up with a plan and I have put that plan into action.

I have bounced from diet or exercise program to another...I stay focused for a short while and then loose it and go back into my old ways.  Especially when I am stressed.  I am a huge stress eater and lately things have been rather stressful.  I was reminded by my family and my boyfriend that my attitude and my drive to be healthy and active has changed and not for the better.  All the mean while I am training for a half marathon so I have to make sure my body is getting what it needs during my long runs.  I reached out to my TSFL health coach Heather.   Again she was nothing but supportive and knew where I was coming from and ready to help.  I had more questions this time about the program while training for my half.  My doctor and I agreed this was the one program that changed my mindset the first time and put me on the road to success and this would be my best option and most realistic for me.

I started 6 days ago and have felt amazing.  I wake up and don't feel tired, I have more energy, my body feels healthier, and I have a new outlook on my health journey and running.   

I have had many friends come along side of me and encourage me in may different ways and I am grateful for all of you.  Without the help of others I would be failing.  Yet people still question why "this program."  You have to find what works for you.....what makes you succeed.  Its not about whose program is better or what you should do or how you should do it.....its about yourself, feeling better and not feeling like a failure.  I don't feel like a failure on my program right now.  I feel motivated to keep going, to be healthy for myself, my kids, my family, and my future.  That's what its about.

In the end this is my health, my body, and my choice, I am succeeding with what works for me and that is what matters.  Tomorrow is weigh in day and for the first time in a while I am excited to step on the scale see what it says and take my measurments!!! 

Fresh Start for 2015!

As I look back on the past month or so and what I have put in my body I realized that I ate way to much crap.  From sweets, to carbs, to sugars, that all entered my body.  I have been feeling rather sluggish lately and tired more often than I would like to be.  So to start this new year off right I decided to do a cleanse.  I did some research on which would be best, and I do not feel that not eating was NOT going to benefit me.  It would make me probably binge eat and that would defeat the purpose of re-setting my system.

So here I am taking on the 10 day green smoothie cleanse.  My goal is to let you know how it goes. Again that is my goal, things can change.

Today was day one....Spinach, 1 apple, mangos, strawberries, seedless grapes and some ground flaxseed.  It says you can put protein powder in it but I wanted to try it without.  Blend with two cups of water and split into three meals.  I do have to admit they taste better when super cold. 

I did not have any cravings today (thats amazing). I kept up on my water intake, had my Yogi Detox tea, had a small handfull of almonds, a few carrots and I still have a hard boiled egg I can eat. 

Lets see how this goes.  I am excited to see what the next week brings.

I did prep all my food for the next 5 days and have it all in the freezer the smoothies hold up really well in the fridge.  I plan to blend my smoothie the night before, and just do a quick mix in the morning.

I am hoping my body starts to feel better.  I will keep you posted!

Bring on 2015!!

I have to admit 2014 was not my best year.  I went through a number ups and downs this year, ranging from switching jobs, having surgery, sending two kids to school, financial stresses and many more.  My health has gone from one extreme to another making me feel at my best and my worst.  Although through the year it has been rough, and I have felt like I was loosing it more than once, I still feel completely at peace with my 2014.  If everything did not happen they way it was intended to happen I would not be where I am today.  God has a plan for everything and this year He has taught me patience and to rely on Him to get me through anything (something that is difficult for me to do).

I have been asking myself whats my resolution for the coming year. I honestly don't feel like making one (thank you to my sister in law for being the first to say she did not want to make one either in her amazing blog abnormalmommy.blogspot.com).  If I go to my resolution from last year I failed miserably, and I can sit here and tear myself apart for not following through with what I put out there on social media.  I did not accomplish anything on that list.  To me that is more frustrating than anything.  So here is to not making a New Year's resolution and just letting 2015 bring on whatever it wants.   This time next year I get reflect on all the awesomeness that happened!!!!

I will say this year I have gained more in my life than I ever thought was possible.  My faith has gotten stronger, my family and friends have stood by me through the good, the bad and the ugly always showering me with love and support, and on top of that God brought this pretty amazing guy into my life who has shown me how to rely on God and trust those who love me most.   Who knows what 2015 will bring but I am just excited to be on the journey.

So here is to 2015 bring on what you want, I am ready for it!

Happy New Year from my family to yours.  May 2015 be your best year yet!!!

Admitting the past, looking forward to the future

I have tossed around the idea of writing this post at least a dozen times or more.  I have actually typed it out numerous times in various ways but never followed through with actually posting it.  Fear is a huge factor as well as being judged. 

For me personally moving forward is hard to do.  I have always held on to the past and not wanted to let go.  It is a part of me that I feel I cannot leave behind.  It has taken years to finally realize if I talk about it, make peace with it, I can move on and not have to live in the past.

That being said.......this past weekend I went to a concert with my cousin and her fiancé at my church.  This was a life changing night for me.  It made me realize my past was my past,  my present and future is what life is about.  In the moment when I surrendered my heart fully to God and just let it all go, I felt and overwhelming sense of peace and comfort fill my heart.  I listened as the lead singer shared some major struggles that he went through not only as a teenager, but also in the past year.  His strength hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized, I have that strength I was just afraid to show my strength because of what others might think.

So here is me using my strength, letting go of the past, and pursuing my future.  After my sweet son Aiden was born in January of 2009 I struggled to be a mom of two and just keep up with everyday life.  Post-partum depression took over me.  I spent over 6 weeks in the hospital trying to find the right medications to help me cope with everything.  Once home from the hospital my parents were a huge support system for me and my kiddos.  We eventually moved in with them due to finances and me not being able to work.  But as the summer went on I ended up needing to have surgery in July.  Now mix the anesthesia, and all the medications I was on for my depression, I went to a whole new low in my life. 

I made a very bad decision one day when I was home alone and I took an overdose of medications trying to end my life.  With the pictures of my kids flashing around I realized what I had done and called 911.  Thankfully I go the treatment I needed very quickly and was able to make a full recovery from what I had done.  It still took me about 4 years of therapy, and 3 years of medications to get me through some very dark times.  I have held onto what I had done for so long.  I look at Kaylee and Aiden and I would think if I were not here, how would they be doing?  Would they even remember me?  And I get into these "feel sorry for myself moments" and just want to stay in them.  Not anymore. I may never forget what I did, but I can forgive myself and move forward.

I lifted my hands up to God this weekend as a sanctuary full of my Abundant Life family worshiped, and instead of asking for my life to change, and for things I wanted, I surrendered my heart, asking for patience and guidance.  As peace filled my heart, I felt like I was a new person, my life had been changed in that very moment.  At the end of the concert, my cousin and I talked, I realized I have done a complete 180 this past year, and why let the past still dictate how I am going to succeed in life. 

Here is to using my strength, to succeeding in every aspect of my life, and being the best mother I can be to the two most precious children in the world.  God created a beautiful canvas painted all around us, I am not going to let the past paint a cloudy picture over the beautiful canvas I have in front of me.

Philippians 4:13 (Amplified Bible)
"I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].

Hiding behind the stress....

I am a stress eater.  Food is what I have always turned too for comfort during difficult times.  When I started program back in June of 2013, I thought I had kicked the stress eating habit to the curb.  These past few weeks my stress level has been rather high.  As I got ready for work the other day, I wanted to wear my comfy size 12 pants.  But putting them on, they did not feel so comfy.  Needless to say my heart sank.  I was hiding behind the stress with food, JUNK FOOD.  Stress and junk food are a powerful thing.  Funny thing is as much as I was upset with the unhealthy choices I was making, I continued to make them.  My mom kept encouraging me to talk to my health coach and dear friend Heather, but I avoided it.  I felt like a failure.  Not just to the program that has worked so well for me, but my health coach,  my family, friends, and everyone who has supported me on this journey.   Admitting that I was struggling was just not something I wanted to face.  

This past week I basically started day 1 again.  And I did great this entire week.  Until the stress hit in yesterday.....which carried to today.  I was just determined to just eat my stress away.  And then I was approached by a friend who wants to change their eating habits and start their journey towards health.  I felt like I was just slapped in the head with a HUGE wake up call.  I am succeeding and love telling everyone how I have done it but when I get stressed I let that dictate the rest of my life.  NOPE, not gonna let it.  

Yes tomorrow will be day 1 again, but day 1 with a different meaning than last weeks day 1.  I had a great talk with my mom, and the fact that I have gone from laying on the couch and sleeping all the time, to playing tag with my kids and constantly being on my feet, I have made amazing changes in my life.  I realized I cannot focus on the OOPS' I have but need to focus on the "where I want to be" and I will succeed with any challenge put before me.

So where do I want to be......well I am signed up for four Portland Park 5k races, I have signed up for the 5k Cosmic Run, 5k Slime Run, and Warrior Dash.  I also plan to sign up for the 5k foam fest and 8k run in the Race for the Cure, and my half marathon in September or October.  So 7 races so far and three more to go......I guess running my stress away, and reaching 145lbs!  Life cannot get much better than this, so for me NO MORE HIDING BEHIND THE STRESS.....I am going to confront it with my head held high and not let it dictate my future.  It was a huge part of my past and that is where it is going to stay.  Here's to a happy, healthy day 1!!!!!

Stop.Challenge.Choose.

Everyday you make hundreds of choices.  You choose to get up, get dressed, have breakfast, or not, stop at Starbucks of Dutch Brothers, take a lunch or buy lunch, and the list goes on and on.  So when it comes to your health, what choices do you make?

With the program I have been on for the past 7 months, everyday I can make a choice to stay on program.  Today was my day that my healthy choices were put to the test.  I eat within 30 minutes of getting up and then every 2-3 hours after that.  With work I am unable to have my phone go off to remind me to grab another meal.  So I always write my approximate meal times on my hand.  I ate my first meal at 6:30 am this morning so I should have had my next meal by no later than 9:30 am.  Today we had a busy morning and I completely forgot to keep track of the time.  I started to feel extremely hungry and I figured it was time to eat.  Not only was it time but it was 12:30.  AHHHHHHH I literally missed an entire meal.  Plus I had not even come close to drinking 24oz of water. 

Missing a meal is not good.  My body thought it was starving, I thought I was starving.  Here is where my bad eating habits would have kicked in.  I would have taken anything I could get my hands on and put it in my mouth.  But I stopped, and made my first choice to eat my broccoli salad and some roasted chicken.  I had 24oz of water, and sat down and enjoyed my lunch.  I then made sure I was eating every 2 hours after that.  After work was over though I had some crazy cravings.  I wanted something sweet.  Chocolate, a brownie, ice cream, or cheesecake.  It was all calling my name.  I had a huge challenge ahead.  I actually went to the store and walked the aisles trying to pick which would be the best thing to cheat with.  I found a lot of good stuff.  But I choose to leave it and just go drink my water in my car. 

I went to another store and thought maybe they will have something better.  But again I challenged myself and I choose to not buy anything.  Ask me a year ago to make a decision like this, but I would have just bought $20.00 worth of junk and more than likely ate it all. 

I was extremely proud of myself today.  Food has been my comfort, my saving grace, and reliable.  Today I did not give into the temptation and did not miss anymore meals.  Although I felt like I was playing catch up all day I still managed to feel accomplished as my day has come to an end.

How did you Stop.Challenge.Choose for your health today?  I would love to know, and better yet if you want help with your healthy choices I would love to do that. Send me a note and we can get started today!

What's your workout?

I am coming up quickly to my one year anniversary of joining a gym.  I cannot believe it has been almost a whole year.  Crazy how time goes by so quickly.

But as I look back on my year I realized I still stayed in my comfort zone when it came to exercising.  I would stick to my same few machines that I liked and just a few other weight lifting and toning exercising that did not challenge me too much.

This past couple months though I have been pushing myself and really trying to find more to do and mix up my routine.  I found the more I mix it up the more fun I have and more I accomplish.

Running has been a huge part of my exercise routine as I am training for a 15k and getting into the routine for a half marathon.  But this past couple weeks I have been trying to build up my strength with my planks, adding more burpees to the mix, using a heavier medicine ball when working on my core, and really focusing strengthening my legs with jump squats, jumping lunges, mountain climbers and so much more.

Whatever your workout may be, don't be afraid to try something new and push yourself to do something you have never done.  In the end you are going to feel glad you did and just want to keep pushing you more and more every time you hit the gym!

Speaking of the gym......I hear it calling my name.  Better get moving - habits of healthy motion is another important part of my 12 week transformation!